Rebound 1

Kau pernah rasa jadi rebound?

Well, I did.

I was quite naive back then. I didn't even know the real definition of rebound. 

Or more to, I didn't even bother to know.

People talked about me being a rebound to this guy. They knew. And I still play innocent about it. I still remember he cried to me about how his girlfriend broke up with him and went with another guy. It was my first time hearing a guy crying so bad. And still is. Me, being a "good" friend, decided to stay along with him. Without realizing, he was "using" me at that time as a platform to ease his sadness/frustration.

As you know, this type of "hubungan" didn't last long. And it didn't end very well too.

Kenapa aku cerita pasal ni?

Sebab aku pernah alami proses sadness/frustration. And at the time, you were like scratching all over the place to find something/someone to overcome the emotion. Yes, you got it right. Aku pun pernah buat apa this guy buat. Atau, hampir buat.

Walaupun kau tau, it's wrong. Fatal for your own self and the other innocent human being.

Dasar degil.

of the wind that blossoms

Diasak sejuta ramainya manusia. Ditenggelami suara-suara. Dibayangi rasa dan bau-bauan.

Either two. 

Kau berjalan sambil menundukkan kepala. Atau kau berjalan mendongak/pandang ke hadapan tanpa peduli ramai yang lain. Ah manusia, sama saja bukan?

Allah SWT berkata, "Kun fayakun!"."Jadilah! Maka jadilah sesuatu itu." 36:82. 

Dan kau terlihat seseorang di hujung sana, dan dia tegak berdiri memandang kau. 

Masa itu telah tiba. Dan Allah never breaks His promise. (3:9. 30:60).

Oh bintang setia, menari di angkasa

Sekarang, aku sedang enak mendengar Esok Belum Tiba, dinyanyikan oleh Nastia.

Aku suka momen ini. Momen yang tenang, bagaikan otak kau menari-nari berseni. Hati kau tersenyum. Mahu saja kau pegang tangan beramai-ramai dan lontarkan suara, demi suara. 

Benar, ilmu yang terbaik datangnya dari jalanan. Aku yakin, jalanan yang aku lalui selama ini telah ditentukan oleh Tuhan. Tak mudah, aku pasti sekali not many willing to watch the downfall. Not many maksud aku, sekarang boleh bilang sahaja berapa kawan aku yang masih ada. (Keluarga terkecuali, kerana terpaksa relakan mereka harus sekali dengan aku ha-ha #gottadragthem #broslove).

Sangat bagus jika jalanan itu seperti trek di Kompleks Belia Seremban. Treknya lurus, cantik, dan sedap dilalui. Tapi jalanan yang aku lalui ini seperti trek di Taman Rekreasi Alor Star. Kadang teduh sejuk, and all of the sudden it became scorching hot. Trek yang lurus and all of the sudden kau bertemu dengan steep hill. Mengah, tapi kau kena panjat juga. Kalau tak, tak cukup aim kau untuk achieve 5km pada haritu. Lagi frust, rempits sekeliling. Do I have to say more about this? Pfft. Atau ada abam sado. Ha,yang ni kau kena belajar tepis godaan gittew.

Okay, point aku adalah.. jatuh memang sakit. Tapi you can choose. Kau nak cry like a baby and complain about your life all the time and blame people for whatever mishap(s) happened in your life. Or kau boleh nanges macam nak gila tapi kau bangun balik shrug off angkat kening sikit and swag your life.

Aku rasa kauorang tau apa yang aku choose. 

You are no longer you

Do you know when you become no longer you?

When you let your emotion takes control.

You become a monster.

You become filthy, with words. 

Your brain crashed down, your physical abilities suddenly rise up than usual, and..

negativity say hello.

And you are unstoppable, at that time.

But..

Do you know what's the cure to it?

Ablution, and perform prayer(s). Allah, how magnificently it works.

I learned this the hard way. 

Try it.

and be the one, who catches all your tears

Yeah, shoot me. Bang.

Went MIA for quite some time.

After all the chaos that had happened in my life, well you can say, finally I'm breathing now.

2012-early 2015. Man, it was tough for me. Physically and mentally. I really, damn, pushed myself. I gained sweetest experience and for that experience my friend, tagged along with tonnes of bitterness.

I just came out from a darkest forest, ever.

Wait, no hug for me? Come on, I just survived that freaking, damp darkest FOREST.

Nevermind. Now, I can see the sunlight. It's time for me to plan ahead.

Bang.

when my hands, don't play the strings the same way

Mundane Monday.

Such a nice weather outside, but gloomy inside heart. Too many things you hold inside, wanting to explode but oh no, no. You woke up, try to positive yourself. You smile along the journey like a maniac but hell no, you don't care. 

Feel like diverging, but you don't know which road to step in. Urm, not knowing seems like a lie. You're just afraid, to make a move. But.. it's not that afraid, matters. Uh, i don't know. As far as i can feel, my heart wanting to settle in that place. But the situation now makes it so impossible. Am i being negative for having this thought?

Mundane Monday.

Sorry bebel. Good day all

teroka teroesir

Kau bilang, mahu teroka dunia.

Dengan aku.

Dengarnya indah, kita di awang-awangan.

Sama-sama teroka yang hitam, yang putih dunia.

Tapi, jika sama-sama teroka itu,

aku jumpa yang hitam itu kau. Atau, kau jumpa yang hitam itu aku.

Kau mahu berhenti teroka?