Hitam Putih

Kau hitam, aku putih.

Kau tanya aku kenapa?

Bukan sebab kau jahat, bukan sebab aku suci.

Haba aku semua kau serap, kau tinggalkan aku berhati sejuk.

Bak sini haba aku, bodoh.

(2013, batu 3 shah alam)

ini masa aku ketawa

Kau perlukan awek,
Aku perlukan teman setia.

Kau mencari subjek untuk hilang kesunyian,
Aku mencari subjek sebagai penghargaan.

Aku melafaz ruang sekalipun sibuk,
Kau melupus ruang jika kau sibuk.

Kau ungkap bosan,
Aku ungkap bertahan.

Kau bilang aku tidak memahami dari dulu,
Sekarang aku bilang kau sudah melampau.

Sungguh, ideologi kita memang jauh beza.

Kasihan aku sama kau.

you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

Tuesday Randoms

1) Aku update blog waktu kerja

2) Aku lapar dan grumpy sekarang

3) Aku nak on whatsapp tapi God knows why I can't do it

4) Please, aku butuh sikit lagi waktu untuk dapatkan nombor baru dan on data plan

5) Hidup penuh kejutan, be careful with your steps

6) Now listening- Amy Search, Nyata dan Maya

7) Bila transfer order nak keluar? 

You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart

Penat.

Penat dirobek. Penat diseksa.

Kalau hati aku boleh bercakap. Ah sudah, aku dah tau benar dialog hati aku.

Degupnya makin lemah. Lelah selalu.

Aku used to be so strong. Mungkin roda itu dah berputar, sekarang aku di bawah. Terlalu lama aku di bawah. Mungkin juga aku akan terjatuh dari roda ini.

Memang, aku penat

15082013

kau kata kau yakin?

macam mana kau yakin kalau tak diuji?

kau kata kau kuat?

macam mana kau tahu kau kuat kalau kau tak diuji?

kalau dapat ujian, jangan mengeluh. 

aku tahu susah, aku dah pernah rasa and masih merasa. 

tapi apakan daya, kau nak menaip pun kau takkan mampu melainkan diizinkanNya. ramai orang senang cakap, tak apa, kalau ada kesusahan, percaya semua kepadaNya. aku tahu itu yang patut aku buat, dan aku masih belajar untuk berserah diri. it takes time, it takes patience. aku rasa cara ini lebih selamat, untuk aku mengenali aku dan untuk mengenali Tuhan aku. Dia bagi kau otak,akal. untuk kau berfikir. kan?

cakap memang pandai. tolong doakan aku

you watch the past, go up in smoke

everything you do, make sure it comes from your heart. heart speaks, as i believe, louder, than your words.

it also applies when you try to write something. i enjoy reading stuff, and you'll know when someone writes for the purpose of trying to gain something (attention etc) or that he/she really likes to write and want to convey to others something, and those words coming truly from their heart. don't you get excited when you have the chance to read those pure writing?

ok, that's just the intro. i know exactly where to portray my happiness when i received 2 good news recently.  not many know the existence of this blog, so i can happily shout my excited-ness here, together with my closest friends who are still reading this!

firstly, i passed my ethics test. im so effing scared that i would fail the test as i answered so badly. but then i passed the test. Rezeki from Allah, indeed. Usaha sudah, tawakal and He is the One that will give and distribute rezeki, evenly. #notetomyself

secondly, i got an offer to work at a beautiful place, with nice scenery and working environment (1st impression only). now i'm at a cross-junction, planning for my future gear. which way should i turn, to the left or right? should i just complete my practical and get my certificate or abandoned those efforts for about 5 months, struggling everyday to get the certificate and grab the chance to work at a hot spot where the attorney general himself is working there? i thank Allah for this opportunity, my parents, family and friends who never stop supporting me, either in their doa or by receiving their motivated wish. how i love you all. as cliche as grammy speech, i know, but i appreciate every, those, tiny, little, efforts!

anyway, jangan stress pening-pening, moh le dengar lagu dulu

nothing stays the same, bazooka!

sometimes, people just don't know how to appreciate others. their presence, their actions, how they show to you how much they care, or even by the words itself

they might think that, oh people chasing after me so i've nothing to worry about, got plenty of options hell yeah i can pick any one of those

bullshit. that person won't stay around forever waiting for you like you the only angel on earth

word. you can't keep a good woman down. haven't u read how easily Dr. Jekyll can turn to Mr. Hyde? 

have you ever felt like you're living in a spot light, searching for the real you?

ahhhh how i miss this space! i miss this i miss this i miss to write yes i miss this space!

long hiatus, but not much update. 4 months have passed, now is the 5th month. but i'm still juggling to get used with this so-called-working-world. i'm still looking for a place to plant my feet, but still haven't found one. on the issue of being picky cum choosy, yes i am one of them. but hey, u got to make a wise choice and do things u want to do, not other people expect u to do. but when the reality strikes, gahhh it's hard, man!

to summarise all the events that had happened throughout my MIA-mode-here, all from hey-i-got-a-job-lets-celebrate but then hmm *insert lightning strikes sound*. then went for my convocation, for the 2nd time, for my 2nd degree hiks hiks know what it means haha it means imma increase my nilai hantaran as well lah lol lol! and up to the story of attending my friend's wedding to me having the feeling to get married as well but too bad, i cannot married with my baby v hmm

now, back to reality. got lot of works to settle. me hate this