siapa bilang siapa kata, bulan itu jauh

yes, i'm at the office now. so malas to turun for lunch, i end up trying to finish my breakfast instead. my daily routine for meals had all gone haywire recently, since i started working. now i can attach myself to my lecturer's feeling, when he said that all he wanted to do post-office hour is to go back home, and leave alone the lust to have a dinner.

working, is tiring. enough said. but nothing comes easy, i know. should opt to be a housewife after this, or probably a hairstylist, saw the advertisement down the street. kbye

oh chariot, I'm singing out loud

Not a library-junkie previously, but became one when i sat for my last and final examination. Like, the real last one. Stay back until almost 6am, and feeling all zombi-ish walking to the college. The moment when I was dancing and singing alone at the road, freedom to do silly thing was at peak at that time because no one was watching you apparently. Met groups of people; differ in sizes, skin colour, behaviour. Finally, i can validly stand for myself that it's not wrong to be a silent, keen observer and watch the people, unnoticeable. 'Ditch' the boring books for a while. I was entertained, even by watching them.

I am a student no more, and definitely gonna miss this place. 

the sun is filling up the room, and I can hear you dreaming

"Distance" is a song about loving someone at the wrong time in your life. Maybe it's too soon, maybe it's too late, but never the less it's about being around that one whom your heart longs for without being about to show your true feelings, without being able to tell them. It's very hard to keep love a secret, and I wrote this song about the one time, I had to."

- Chrisina Perri

that, the flower that blooms!

For a person who had caused disasters and committed sins to many people, this is just the moment to ask for their forgiveness. Being a bad girl for quite some time, here's a humble, sorry shout from kedah to those who have been hurt by my words, my actions, my sombong-ness, my keji-ness. To ask for people to forget the grudge toward me, I guess I need to do the same thing. Things that I've been holding on to myself for too long, this is the right time for me just to let it go. Start afresh, embrace new life, new people and new path.

I just love Raya. Don't you love it? May the Ramadhan spirit will always be with us, have a great Raya everyone in Malaysia, California and to all Muslim around the world. Come, let's spread the love.

all that you could fake, will leave you in the morning

how my thoughts they spin me around

how my thoughts they let me down

how my dreams they spin me around

how my dreams they let me down
(Greg Laswell -"And Then You")

Been thinking too much, but at the end of the day, it born nothing. 

Nothing. 

Nada.

ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose

but it's hard, even to find one.

ask me "what's my best side?" i stand back and point at you

okay, straight to the point.

encountered many events during my absence here ( if only anyone notices my absence). intending only to write the 'top' stories, the first one starts with a taxi driver. Apparently, this taxi driver seems very friendly, and the "friendliness" extended to him criticizing other taxi drivers. Other taxi drivers don't know how to make money, often used lame excuses not to pick up passengers, he claimed. Well, I have to agree with him. On reaching my destination, I look at the taxi meter,  the fare should be RM 4.00. It SHOULD be. He charged me with RM 5.00, his fingers rushingly reached the taxi meter and deleted the 'RM 4.00' figure. Read the third until fifth para and compare with the last para.

Cakap lebat je, bang?

Next one, i was waiting for my bus to get back home. Suddenly, i heard just a small bang from the right corner where i was standing. i repeat, just a small bang. Surprisingly, i mean, not so surprised, the 'ulat-ulat tiket' that were roaming around looking for victims to solicit them to buy tickets, shouting and laughing looking at the accident between the cars. They were not lending hands at all, but provoking the drivers to fight with each other. The accident was not that bad, no one got hurt or even the cars were damaged. It can be settled quietly without anyone has to make big fuss of it. 

Manner. Manner, people. And maturity jugak lah kan? 

Thirdly, yes public transport (read: bus pulang ke kampung) sucks big time. Enough said. Kumpul duit cepat-cepat, wanna get a car on my own.

Fourthly, i still don't get it with smokers. If you want to ruin yourself, (despite the warnings. read: plural)  go ahead. No one cares. But please, don't burden others with the smoke. It was a devastating moment, when i saw a kid with his dad in the car and the daddy, was smoking innocently in front of his kid. mashaAllah, the child learn through examples. Let's give good examples, shall we? 

Okay, done expressing my thoughts. it's the first Ramadhan starting exactly at 19:39 pm at Kubang Pasu district. Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. let's try to be more 'human', everyone, with God's blessings. happy fasting, let's fully utilize the month inshaAllah.

Fasting without this man in the house for the first time. hope you'll be good there, bro.

Love.

the tricky thing is, yesterday we were just children

when the intention is misinterpreted, you feel bloody annoyed and begin to summon the hulk inside you. unfortunate for me, to activate the cold-blooded mode.

on the other note, final examination will start tomorrow! for those who are reading this, jangan segan jangan shy shy cat, please pray for my success okay? take care everyone, may Allah bless you all.

and that was then and this is now

the feeling of unlikable, disregarded and unnoticeable. yes, you want to yell it all out, you want to tell the whole world, but you just can't. they are pushing you, throwing out words they ought to keep to themselves. full with egocentric. probably they forget the existence of 'hati dan perasaan' of a human being. new scars every single day, and i don't know whether i can bear this any longer. 

ya Tuhan, lemahnya aku.

(picture: credit)

i'll be doing my best, i'll see you soon

betrayed. annoyed. selfish. insensitive. under estimate. left out.

and they say we live in a beautiful world.

just close your eyes, the sun is going down

do you ever left alone in a library? no signs of any existence of a human being can be seen in the nearest distance. be it left, right, in front of you or even behind you, there is no one. you can just hear you, yourself, making a sound, in the attempt to break the silence, by typing the keyboard.. wanting to explode your fear and nervousness by writing in the blog. and you heard a sound, coming from a corner but you can't seem to find or see anyone there.

oh my, pity me. if i am not so lazy like this, i rather studying at my room instead of sacrificing myself to be here. stop the imagination, evidence test is tomorrow, and i iz not yet finish reading. how how now :'( goodbye everyone

this could be para para paradise

cuti sudah habis. ok relax relax jangan menggelabah jangan stress. *take a pillow and scream*

2 months to go babyy, but the workloads are crazy. i wish for an escapade but how lah to escape with all the works keep on coming.i can foresee myself staying in the firm, at late night hour, try to finish off the works. well i gotta repay back those times i lost (due to procrastination, what else kan?) by staying up late wohooo not fun at all ye ladies and gentlemen.

oh such a happy cat. ok i am procrastinating again. bye

all I know is you've shown me, it's a beautiful world

"we are writing history, life is made up of small victories."

i have always longed for their comeback.  indeed, je suis tres contente :)

it's time to face the music, i am no longer your muse

hola!

greetings everyone. yes, i'm on a break for a week. apparently, piles of works are all so fond of me, that they decided to tag me along to go home. they cannot leave me, don' t they? 

random thoughts, i wish to wear braces but i have no money inside my pocket. and i have keen interest with a boot cut jeans, and will get one for myself soon. and i always think to wear cheongsam to my firm, it will look as good as my uniform. talking about procrastination, i haven't done with my resume.

on the other hand, stay calm and have a great week ahead people. 

guna hak berfikir sebelum bersuara

lirik ini bukan cakap kosong.

ini bukan hanya sekadar lagu.

ini indah. ini ada makna tersirat.

"guna hak berfikir sebelum hak bersuara."

hanya enam patah perkataan, sejuta maksud. ya, saya tertarik.

let's ask ourselves a question. do we really exercised hak berfikir sebelum bersuara?

i always found, people used hak bersuara sebelum hak berfikir. bila marah, bila emosi, bila kecewa, termasuk bila terlalu bahagia. or even when people shouted for hak bersuara, but they, at the first place, did not used hak berfikir.

berfikir, of the consequences, of the impact, and the effect when you bersuara. not bersuara, then only you berfikir of the consequences, the impact and the effect of you bersuara. well, the effect is grave. mentally, physically.

i, myself often and used to disregard this vital right.

ayuh, tag along this hak berfikir whenever and wherever you are.

1973

and did I tell you how i miss to write again?

i am yellow, what's your colour?

i chased the world and blissfully ignoring the hereafter.

i feel i can live forever, hell yeah let's enjoy this.

i am so brave, i forgot the One that created me.

i do the don'ts. and, i omit the do.

bad girl, went even bad.

yes, i am a sinner.

but mashaAllah, Allah SWT is all forgiving and indeed He is the only helper, isn't it? i am blessed with my family and friends He gives to me. He gives me blessing, He gives me hikmah, He gives me everything that i needed. i am inspired with the ni'mat He gave to me, mashaAllah i'm inspired and very thankful to Him :')

He doesn't leave me, even i'm the one whom always keeping distance from Him. He is always be there, for me. mashaAllah, "everything belongs to Allah from the heavens to the earth, and that other than Allah you have no other helper, because it is only He who can help and save you." (credit)

"Dan orang yang berjihad untuk (mencari keredhaan) Kami, akan Kami tunjukkan kepada mereka jalan-jalan Kami. Dan sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang yang berusaha membaiki amalannya" - Al-Ankabut 29:69

let's make a change from now.it's never too late, inshaAllah :')

one of the picture snap at Kumon. she tried to lompat katak but tak berjaya. mungkin saya patut join berlompat sekali? *pandang lemak bergeleberan di perut* oh, imma miss this girl so bad after this :'(

because when the world pushes you to your knees, you are in perfect position to pray

"Masha'Allah you are very brave, have you no fear?

You say Iman is in your heart, but is your heart sincere?

What if you were a hypocrite and didn't even know it?"

as quoted from the poem. indeed something to ponder upon :'(

when the little woman letters, speak herself

i was alone, walking along a street. until i came to a junction, i saw he was standing on the other side. i watched him, luckily he cannot see me. i whisper to myself, what an opportunity to observe him now, without having been caught for doing so.

i stuck for a moment. the mild wind brushes his hair, giving the wavy effect to his hair. i smiled, he never failed to look smart with the hair. he wore a shirt, a stripes shirt where he folded the sleeves up until his elbow, and style it together with a faded jeans. he then completes the attire with a pair of sneakers. simple, but it looks neat and classy. he was holding a book, well..i wish i have a pair of eagle eyes to overcome the distance and catch the glimpse of the book's title.

the next second, i realized i was taking the right side of the road and he makes his way to the left side.

it has been years, and we are not seeing each other. even when we are that close.

do you ever realized that, dear?

disclaimer: again, this isn't my story.

to be continued.

ain't nothing but a heartache, ain't nothing but a mistake

high-5 if you still listen to backstreet boys.

or the beatles.

or jackson five.

:)

PS: i'll be working tomorrow at Kumon centre for a month. just to share the news and i promise i'll blog later. take care of yourself readers.

it's plain to see, that baby you are beautiful

it feels so surreal. to get back home, to be able to watch the sky while indulging upon bubur jagung specially cooked by mom, to have usual fight with your siblings and finally, to feel vulnerable upon your parent's lap. i'm living my dream. shah alam does not, or never offer any of these treatments apparently.

hello kedah, do you miss me? because i certainly do.

PS: to those who are reading my blog, i'm able to catch you all (by the traffic feed of course). i wonder how you all stumbled upon this unknown blog, and continue to follow the updates because i don't expect people to follow my stories. you know who you are and i just want you to know, i feel honoured. thank you.

and it hurts like hell, but i can deal

stranded at the airport, with 4 hours due before my flight is scheduled to be arrived. being a lone ranger is not bad at all.. in fact i love it and oh, i am well-used to it. and apparently, my observation rate has rapidly and furiously increasing here. my eyes are glued to the different culture, faces and the style each of them possess.

ironically,my laptop battery doesn't seem to cooperate with me. now, i am left with zero entertainment and pleasure, except with my book newly brought and another observation yet to discover. will blog later, have a happy holiday every(one).

"to live is to think" - Marcus Tullius Cicero

the standard of proving in a criminal case is beyond reasonable doubt. to achieve or able to achieve that standard, it's not an easy job. if there exist, even a slight doubt in the case, it will be totally fatal.

due to insufficiency of evidence (for example), doubt has been cast upon the case and he/she hence is innocent in the eyes of law. but it still, did not change the fact that he/she actually committed the crime. the actus reus remains, but it's just the guilt that cannot be proved since there is a doubt in the case and as a consequences, the doubt had hardly shaken the case. well, of course there are cases where a man/a woman is totally innocent thus he/she deserved to be a free bird.

learn the law before you criticize or commenting about any case. arguing with a basis and knowledge plus equipped with the brain, is much appreciated and fun to be debated and to be read upon. respect the justice system, for the task of giving the justice ain't a santai job but required intelligent and hard skill.

speaking of the right to speak and to think, well this is just another piece of my little opinion.

on top of that, i got an offer to work at Kumon starting this Feb. may Allah eases my journey.