the sun is filling up the room, and I can hear you dreaming

"Distance" is a song about loving someone at the wrong time in your life. Maybe it's too soon, maybe it's too late, but never the less it's about being around that one whom your heart longs for without being about to show your true feelings, without being able to tell them. It's very hard to keep love a secret, and I wrote this song about the one time, I had to."

- Chrisina Perri

that, the flower that blooms!

For a person who had caused disasters and committed sins to many people, this is just the moment to ask for their forgiveness. Being a bad girl for quite some time, here's a humble, sorry shout from kedah to those who have been hurt by my words, my actions, my sombong-ness, my keji-ness. To ask for people to forget the grudge toward me, I guess I need to do the same thing. Things that I've been holding on to myself for too long, this is the right time for me just to let it go. Start afresh, embrace new life, new people and new path.

I just love Raya. Don't you love it? May the Ramadhan spirit will always be with us, have a great Raya everyone in Malaysia, California and to all Muslim around the world. Come, let's spread the love.

all that you could fake, will leave you in the morning

how my thoughts they spin me around

how my thoughts they let me down

how my dreams they spin me around

how my dreams they let me down
(Greg Laswell -"And Then You")

Been thinking too much, but at the end of the day, it born nothing. 

Nothing. 

Nada.

ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose

but it's hard, even to find one.

ask me "what's my best side?" i stand back and point at you

okay, straight to the point.

encountered many events during my absence here ( if only anyone notices my absence). intending only to write the 'top' stories, the first one starts with a taxi driver. Apparently, this taxi driver seems very friendly, and the "friendliness" extended to him criticizing other taxi drivers. Other taxi drivers don't know how to make money, often used lame excuses not to pick up passengers, he claimed. Well, I have to agree with him. On reaching my destination, I look at the taxi meter,  the fare should be RM 4.00. It SHOULD be. He charged me with RM 5.00, his fingers rushingly reached the taxi meter and deleted the 'RM 4.00' figure. Read the third until fifth para and compare with the last para.

Cakap lebat je, bang?

Next one, i was waiting for my bus to get back home. Suddenly, i heard just a small bang from the right corner where i was standing. i repeat, just a small bang. Surprisingly, i mean, not so surprised, the 'ulat-ulat tiket' that were roaming around looking for victims to solicit them to buy tickets, shouting and laughing looking at the accident between the cars. They were not lending hands at all, but provoking the drivers to fight with each other. The accident was not that bad, no one got hurt or even the cars were damaged. It can be settled quietly without anyone has to make big fuss of it. 

Manner. Manner, people. And maturity jugak lah kan? 

Thirdly, yes public transport (read: bus pulang ke kampung) sucks big time. Enough said. Kumpul duit cepat-cepat, wanna get a car on my own.

Fourthly, i still don't get it with smokers. If you want to ruin yourself, (despite the warnings. read: plural)  go ahead. No one cares. But please, don't burden others with the smoke. It was a devastating moment, when i saw a kid with his dad in the car and the daddy, was smoking innocently in front of his kid. mashaAllah, the child learn through examples. Let's give good examples, shall we? 

Okay, done expressing my thoughts. it's the first Ramadhan starting exactly at 19:39 pm at Kubang Pasu district. Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. let's try to be more 'human', everyone, with God's blessings. happy fasting, let's fully utilize the month inshaAllah.

Fasting without this man in the house for the first time. hope you'll be good there, bro.

Love.

the tricky thing is, yesterday we were just children

when the intention is misinterpreted, you feel bloody annoyed and begin to summon the hulk inside you. unfortunate for me, to activate the cold-blooded mode.

on the other note, final examination will start tomorrow! for those who are reading this, jangan segan jangan shy shy cat, please pray for my success okay? take care everyone, may Allah bless you all.

and that was then and this is now

the feeling of unlikable, disregarded and unnoticeable. yes, you want to yell it all out, you want to tell the whole world, but you just can't. they are pushing you, throwing out words they ought to keep to themselves. full with egocentric. probably they forget the existence of 'hati dan perasaan' of a human being. new scars every single day, and i don't know whether i can bear this any longer. 

ya Tuhan, lemahnya aku.

(picture: credit)